everything in moderation

Things are normal here. I seem to have finally found a comfortable groove and pace for my life. A balance for family, work, friends, boys, parties... everything. I'm settled and enjoying myself. Interestingly, I think I view my life here in a different context than anyone else fully comprehends. I don't really see this as temporary. I live here. When I first thought about moving and until just recently since I arrived, I saw this as a little adventure with a timeline. My general idea was that I'll do this until next October then come home and "restart" my life. Now that I'm here, I see that this is my life.... which is why its difficult for me to maintain this blog. I didn't feel the need to update everyone when I lived in America and since my life here seems normal and, for lack of a better word, "right"... its hard for me to remember how others view this experience.

Anyway. Yesterday was the third day since I've been here where I wished wholeheartedly that I was back in America (the first was for my mom and the second was inauguration day). It was the first real experience where the vast distance created by an ocean made me feel more helpless that I could have ever imagined. My best friend from childhood, Kalah, told me that her dad died of a heart attack. I know that I wouldn't have been able to make it any better had I been in Ohio/Indiana with her, but the awareness that I physically could not was gut-wrenching. Given the major losses I(we) have experienced in the past 5 years, I, at this point in my life, am, frankly, over it and, therefore, don't handle death very well. Luckily, my family was incredibly understanding and let me be alone for most of the day. And Andrea came over last night, bringing wine and comfort food... she even endured the rather late night spontaneous "chill/cheer-steph-up" session at Fresh's house because she knew I needed it. So I want to extend my deepest thanks to my Istanbul loves for being my family and helping me get through a difficult day. I am truly grateful to know that I am surrounded by such wonderful people.

To Kalah: I love you so much and I wish more than anything I could be there with you. I've always loved your parents - You will all always have a very special place in my heart. Just know that my head and my heart are with you right now.

RIP Jay DeLashmit

I hate that sometimes it take a horrible tragedy to give your life a little perspective.