get loose.

Sorry its been so long - I know I keep saying that I'll do better with updating and then nothing happens BUT I promise I will actually try. The one day last week that I was all prepared to write, as walker put it, I was "hating life so much" and thought i might unintentionally cause loved ones to worry. . I think I actually told about 4 people throughout the course of the day that I wouldn't make it a year. (Heaven knows my mom would be on a plane ready to come help me pack. Love youuuu) Thankfully, life has improved again and I'm back in it for the long haul.

Thats one thing that I'm getting more comfortable with: bad days/hours/minutes/seconds in such beautiful place. It took me through my first two weeks to fully comprehend that this isn't actually a vacation; this is my life. This is my home, and, as a result, I should feel comfortable not having a perfect day. Not every day will be filled with fun and sun. I can't sight-see everyday. just like in Richmond, I will have days that I don't feel like doing anything but watching a movie and napping and thats really ok. I have time to make up for any laziness.

Other things I'm getting used to:
- Eating fish. Samantha, we can finally eat seafood together like you've always wanted. Not only do I eat fish, but I'm getting pretty skilled at pulling out all the bones. Yes. I rip bones out of fish. I'm still not down with eating the whole head, but it has only been 3 weeks.
- Basically eating anything thats put in front of me. I'm no expert on food and Dilara is so I assume I should trust her judgment. So far, I've only disliked one dish: a plate of lukewarm spinach with egg yolks on top.
- Being stared at everywhere I go.
- The incredible view. For the first few weeks, I was mesmerized every time I walked to the park or rode the bus. Now, I'm still fairly amazed, but growing accumstomed to feeling that way.
- Cats. Well, not really. They still freak me out, but thats only because they're plotting against me. One tried to come in my room.
- The guy who wanders the street playing the accordian.
- The guy who wakes me up almost every morning yelling as he tries to sell brooms and broom accessories.
- Not understanding a word being said around me. I quite prefer it sometimes.
- The smell in my bathroom. I can't figure out what it is and I've stop trying.

I have been getting out and trying to see some of the city. Last Monday (when the family was on Buyukada - I stayed behind for peace and quiet), Jessica's friend from Roanoke, Bulent, took me around. I had such a great time. The first stops were the Basilica Cistern and Sultanahmet. Truly one of the most beautiful buildings. (I tried adding pictures but my internet isn't really behaving so I'm going to make an online photo album) After that, we went to Taksim to walk around and get dinner. I'd been to Taksim before but I love it, so I didn't mind at all. AND he successfully helped me find a hair straightener, but I didn't actually get it because they're about $80. No thanks. Then we went to a movie (Saw V, don't bother there's no point except blood and guts) and since the movie theater is in the mall, we walked through it. Bulent and I both decided that if I'm ever feeling homesick, I only need to take a short cab ride to the mall. Its seriously like walking through Tysons 2, only nicer. I took one look at the Jimmy Choo store and laughed at all the preconceived notions about Istanbul from people at home. Some actually asked me if I would get a camel (don't feel bad if you're one of those people who asked, you weren't the only one). Jimmy Choo, Gucci... basically every major high end store... and camels. Nope. Anyway, I didn't really like being in a Turkish mall any more than I did in America so we left and drove fooorever to a lighthouse somewhere on the coast. If it wasn't so far, I'd go all the time. From the road, the surrounding area just looked like a boat graveyard but up a few stairs was a beautiful view of the Black Sea. Really perfect. The final stop on our outing was another great view of the Bosphorus, which we could enjoy from the warm car. We got tea from some kid selling it to others doing the same thing as us. (That was a little weird to me at first. Buying tea from a random kid standing around trying to make some money. Not usually a good idea in America.)

Oh... Turkish clubs: hell yes. Beste and I went out to celebrate her friend's birthday (Efecan - ef-ay-john). VIP booths. Votka. Disco. I felt like I was on crack. I can't remember every details but I do recall velvet, mirrors, red booths, giant chandeliers (and lights perfectly positioned to reflect from the corners, sending colorful rays all around the room), a 3-tiered silver platter with delicately carved meyva (fruit). Swanky. Out of a Sex and The City episode.
I was super uncomfortable at first, quietly smoking a cigarette and cursing myself for spending so much time getting ready. (The night had gotten off to a rocky start. Outside, in the cold, we waited for nearly an hour for Efecan to come pick us up. We didn't get to the club until 1:00, which in America means your night is almost over. Wow, was I mistaken) About half an hour after we arrived, the party really started. The lights dimmed, strobe lights broke out, and the crowd exploded into cheers. A giant red curtain at the back of the room parted to reveal a dj booth in front of a massive, movie theater-like screen. And the music began. The craziest Turkish-disco-techno music. It. Was. Awesome.
I, too terrified to do anything but sip my votka and elma (apple), watched with wide eyes until Beste decided I had been sitting long enough. She pulled off my sweater, yanked me off the couch, and said 'GET UP AND DANCE'. My discomfort wore off as soon as the alcohol kicked in. 10 minutes later, I was up on the couches dancing with everyone else in the club (I know you're probably freaking out, but I would have been the odd one out if I stayed on the floor haha). I think they played maybe 2 American songs the whole night but I was having too much fun to notice that I didn't understand a word anyone was singing. The songs are catchy, so, by the end of the night, I was also singing words I didn't understand. Now, Beste and I have an agreement to forget the specific contents of the evening, for personal reasons, so I can't divulge much more. I will say, though, that I got home at 7am and had a blast. I am looking forward to more party nights in my future. I also can't wait to give visiting guests a crash course in Turkish party nights. I'll reiterate: hell yes.

So its been 3 weeks now and I love this city more than I did when I first got here. I really do feel like I'm at the center of the world. I can see why people come to visit and never leave. I won't lie, I'm not really homesick but I do miss everyone. I just wish I didn't have to be so far away to live in a such a wonderful place. I'm also starting to crave random American food (nachos... which isn't surprising). Maybe I'll go to TGIFridays sometime soon (I didn't eat there in America but I might make an exception. haha) There are days I wish I was sitting in Sam's apartment watching MTV Jams with Tammy waiting for everyone to come over so we can get into trouble around Richmond. Or at my wonderful Broad St store with the craziest group of people I've ever worked with... loved the pictures of your ass in those jeans Oscar (Thanks Alli. hahah) Orrr in Fairfax with my usual group at my usual bar making the usual bad decisions. Or relaxing with my parents in Hampton, scrolling through the DVR and eating all their food. But, I know with all my heart, that I'm in the right place and doing the right thing for me. Keep the emails coming, my loves. I thoroughly enjoy hearing from everyone.

Miss and love